Because I said so

I remember as I child, I hated those words. It was the ultimate exercise of authority. No explanation, no “start with why,” just pure authority. These words are designed to end discussion and leave the subject with two choices: comply or rebel.

I often write about leadership outside of the context of hierarchy. I believe formal authority structures have little to do with modern leadership. Despite that belief, all of us operate in a formal hierarchy, and it often directly influences our day to day reality at work.

So here you are, at the office on an average day, doing your leadership thing as best as you can. Then out of nowhere, an edict comes from your boss that you don’t agree with. It seems that you only have two choices: either you be a good subject and do what you are told, or you rebel and face the consequences.

There is a third option

Let me demonstrate from the leader’s point of view. Since I am in middle management, I have a boss over me, and I have managers that report to me. As a course of normal business, I originate new ideas and I roll them out to my team for implementation. From time to time, one of my managers will approach me and say, “I don’t really agree with this, but I can be a good soldier and do it anyway.”

That’s when I say, “stop!” This is a huge red flag for me. My direct-report just told me that she respects my authority, but not my reasoning. Why should I care? Won’t I get the result I’m looking for anyway? Probably not, and there are three reasons why:

1. My direct-report is also a manager with direct-reports. When she rolls out my idea to her team, she cannot explain why, other than to say, “because Zach said so.” Obedience without understanding does not motivate a team. Regardless of my intention, my greater team will perceive me as an autocrat and will disengage their hearts and minds.
2. I could be wrong. What if the reason my direct-report is pushing back is because she’s right and I’m wrong? I need to listen to her input and perhaps together, we can make the idea even better.
3. If I’m hearing this, then I probably failed to explain how I came to my decision. As leaders, there’s an entire journey we take in our minds to come up with a decision. When it comes to communication, we often skip to the conclusion without telling any of the backstory. When we tell the story and involve others in the story, we not only get higher-quality decisions, but we also get alignment and buy-in along the way.

Now, let’s switch back to the scenario we started with. You are dealing with a decision you don’t like from your boss. What do you to do? Personally, I need alignment with my leader as much as I need air to breathe. I fight for it. I literally lose sleep over it. I need to understand. I do not criticize my leader in public, but privately and respectfully work through the misalignment. Ninety percent of the time, my boss doesn’t change his mind to my way of thinking. However, through the process, I extract the larger story and gain the ability to rationalize in the context of the big picture.

That’s how you do it. Misalignment is uncomfortable, but it’s an opportunity for growth. Fight for it. Don’t let the opportunity pass you by with a simple act of compliance or rebellion. That shortcut leads nowhere. Leaders need to take the time and expel the energy to figure it out. Your entire department is counting on you. You can’t lead people where you are unwilling to go. If you won’t get aligned to your leader, what makes you think they will struggle to align to you? Be a courageous follower and make it happen.