“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

I’m sure you’ve heard that cliché before. There is simplicity in its truth. Yet somehow, many of us find implementing it elusive. It turns out, being yourself isn’t as easy as it sounds. In this article we will figure out why this is and what we can do about it.

Discontentment

I’d like to start out with a story. About six years ago, I was working for a different company. I was getting restless. I had experienced a lot of success in my career to that point, but I had a sinking feeling that I had reached the top of my growth potential in that organization. This feeling didn’t come all at once. Rather, it built slowly over time.

It took a lot of introspection to truly figure out what was causing this restlessness. I ultimately determined that I was feeling a lot of pressure to change who I was. I felt like I needed to conform to a different model of leadership to further my success. This nagging feeling led me to start looking for opportunities outside of my company. I didn’t need to jump ship in a hurry, so I could afford to be patient and wait for the right kind of opportunity.

The interviews

I consider myself a good interviewer. I don’t know exactly how to describe this skill, but for one reason or another, if I can land an interview, I believe that I can make a pretty good impression. Because of my desire to please people, I can sometimes act a bit like a chameleon. I may be tempted to present myself in a way that gives the interviewer exactly what they are looking for.

Given my situation six years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would use every interview opportunity to present myself exactly how I want to be received, regardless of what the interviewers were looking for. I didn’t want to win a job opportunity because of my interview skills. I wanted to win because the company wanted the fully authentic version of me.

I figured, if a company wasn’t buying what I was selling, then I shouldn’t waste my time there. That took a tremendous amount of confidence and self-assurance. I’m not always that confident, but I am really happy that I stayed true to myself.

CHS

Those interviews six years ago landed me at CHS. I was transparent in my interview with what I had to offer and what I didn’t. That gave me freedom to be myself. It gave me confidence to lead. I told myself, “If they didn’t want me, they wouldn’t have hired me. They chose me. Now, go do your thing.”

There’s a real sense of freedom that comes from being authentic. Conforming to others’ expectations is a massive burden to carry around. It fills you with self-doubt and ultimately hinders your performance.

Earlier

I’m going to wind the clock back even further. I grew up in Lancaster, PA. After I graduated from high school, I moved to Minnesota. I didn’t have any family in Minnesota. I didn’t know anyone in Minnesota. I had several motivations for moving there, but for the purposes of this story, I’ll mention just one: I wanted to remake myself. I wanted to start over and start fresh. I wanted to be unencumbered by my past. I didn’t want to be defined by my existing relationships. This may make it seem like I had a bad past and troubled relationships, but I didn’t. It was all great. I was on a journey of defining myself and I didn’t want any restrictions. I wanted to be exactly what I wanted to be without any implicit pressure to conform to external expectations.

It turned out, that “the new me” in Minnesota wasn’t a whole lot different than “the old me” in Pennsylvania, but the opportunity to recreate my authentic identity was still incredibly exciting.

The journey

I share both of these stories to recognize the common elements. It’s perfectly acceptable and normal for a young adult to search for self-discovery and authentic identity. But, what about an established mid-career professional with a family? Some would say that this is sort of thing is the luxury of the young. I disagree.

As professionals, it’s critical that we continually evaluate the authenticity of our life and work. Lack of authenticity chips away at our well-being and performance. I think to myself, “I’m too young to simply give up, change who I am, and go along with the crowd.” I’d argue that we all are too young. I don’t care if you are 18 or 99.

The leader’s role

Since the industrial revolution, corporations have earned a reputation for snuffing out individuality and enforcing conformity for the greater good of the corporation. If you can’t deal with the pressure to conform, then the only option is to be self-employed. This thinking is no longer relevant in the modern world.

Large corporations filled with unique, expressive individuals isn’t just possible, it’s required to compete in this economy. Leaders who continue to enforce conformity and suppress individual uniqueness will eventually be worked out of the system.

I want every member of my team to experience the same freedom that I experience. This not only helps with well-being; it unlocks performance like nothing else. Employees who feel like they can be themselves at work will work harder, smarter, and faster. Those that don’t will slide into mediocrity.

Every leader wants top performance. Some think conformity is the way to get it, but as it turns out, authentic individuality goes way further. Join me in this new style of leadership.

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