I’ve seen the picture above or a variation of it used to make many points. Some use it as a warning that if you give too much of yourself you won’t survive the loss. I’ve also seen it used to describe a mentor that has many shortcomings but gives you the piece that you are missing. Finally, I’ve seen it used to describe a father’s sacrificial love for his son.

Art has a way of communicating different things to different viewers. I wish I could credit the artist, but I’ve been unable to identify the creator. Every time I see this picture or one of the variants, I think about leadership. I will use this article to explain what I see and how I experience it.

I’m going to start off with a story:

Several years ago, I was responsible for leading a series of employee feedback roundtable sessions. We knew employee morale wasn’t what it should be, so we leaned in and asked questions to get to the root of the trouble.

There was a predictable dynamic at work in these sessions. I’d start off each session feeling pretty good. I was poised and committed to facilitating discussion and actively listening to every participant. The sessions were raw with emotion and critique. I gave our team members a platform to be heard, and they unloaded. In the end, our team members felt valued, validated, and heard. In the end, I felt defeated and exhausted. I went home at the end of the day with nothing left.

The cost of leadership

The outside world looks at the perks of leadership. They see power and recognition. As a leadership practitioner, I often experience the cost of leadership. I don’t complain about it and I rarely talk about it. However, not talking about it may do a disservice to aspiring leaders. If they experience these costs, they may be surprised by them and wonder if they are doing something wrong.

Let me set the record straight: leadership costs you something. It’s supposed to. If by giving your team your best, you feel depleted, that’s okay. That’s how it’s supposed to work. Leadership is a deliberate transfer of energy and strength from you to others. You do it all day, every day. Then you go to bed, get up, and do it again.

Leadership is a calling

While I truly believe that leadership is accessible to everyone, few respond to the call. Those who are willing and able to lead have a burden to do so. The world needs leaders. If you have a leadership ability, then you have the responsibility to use that ability to meet the needs of others.

Replenish

This is the reason I write so often on this blog about resting, recharging, and development. I must. I can’t do my job as a leader if I’m full of holes. If I don’t replenish, then I have nothing to give. If I have nothing to give, then I cannot lead.

If you’ve ever done an amazing job as a leader, and simultaneously felt completely drained and defeated in the process, that’s okay. It’s normal. That doesn’t mean you screwed up. However, it’s imperative that you find a way to replenish your strength so you can do it all over again. Yes, your team needs a piece of you. Go ahead and give it to them. Just make sure you know where you can go get some more.

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