In the past month, I’ve been going through one of the most intense and difficult leadership challenges of my life. The context is a leadership role completely outside of my duties at CHS. I’ve had to make some unpopular but necessary decisions. Since it’s still very fresh, I’m going to be intentionally vague on the specifics out of respect for those involved. However, I can be very transparent with my experiences and the lessons that I’m learning. As always, I’m certain this will apply to all of you.

Likability

It just occurred to me, that for my entire leadership career, I’ve enjoyed the benefits of likability. Most people find me to be a nice guy, and that is a significant advantage for leadership. People want to follow leaders they like. People resist leaders they do not like.

I’ve always had my detractors, but the vast majority of people seem to like me. I’ve taken that for granted and never knew what it would be like to lead a large group of very unhappy people, until now.

Trust comes from relationships, not positions

When leading in a large organization, it’s impossible to know everyone. I’ve learned that the people I know the best and longest, tend to trust me the most. They don’t need to understand every detail. They just implicitly believe that I have their best interests in mind and am doing the best I can.

Other people only know me because of the position I hold. They don’t know me, and they don’t have any inherent trust in official positions. While I certainly wish I’d get some benefit of the doubt because of my official position, I am empathetic to the reason I don’t. In our world today, leaders in official positions abuse their power and make selfish and dishonest decisions all the time. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt. I get the opposite of that.

I’ve found myself dealing with two sides of humanity:

• People are emotional: Unpopular decisions are traumatic. People need to vent their feelings. I need to validate those feelings. I need to be gracious, caring, and empathetic.
• People are rational: Unpopular decisions need to be explained with reason. Questions need to be answered. Information needs to be made available and interpreted.

Here’s the tough thing: People in an emotional state, don’t want rationale. That just hurts them further. People in a rational state don’t want emotional sentiments. That just frustrates them.

I’ve learned that it’s nearly impossible to be all things to all people all at once.

Communication

So much about leadership effectiveness comes down to communication, and it’s very difficult to anticipate everything that is needed ahead of time.

I’ve learned to make myself available and responsive, as much as I possibly can. I’ve learned to share frequently asked questions, so everyone sees a consistent message. I’ve gathered people in groups, so they all hear the same thing. I’ve connected with people individually, so they can feel free to speak their minds unhindered by a group setting. I give straight answers, as clearly as I can.

I’ve stayed focused on the mission. I’ve communicated my hope for the future. I’ve learned that some people don’t want to talk about the future when they are still making sense of the present, but I believe it is part of my job as a leader to impart hope and point people forward anyway.

Perception

Another dynamic is the vocal minority and the silent majority. This makes things feel worse than they are. The people that are upset think they represent everyone. The people that are just fine don’t say anything at all. That tends to skew my perspective, and I haven’t found a great way to adjust for it.

Resilience

This ordeal has taken a toll on my sleep, my family, and my well-being. But I haven’t compromised my values, nor have I compromised my focus on the mission. Lastly, I am loved by God Almighty, and frankly, that has to be enough.

The team

In all of my leadership roles, including this one, I’m not alone. I am part of a team. Cohesion in that leadership team has been paramount. Leading as a team, with diversity of thought, helps strengthen our decisions, and our responses to situations. Availing myself of that collaboration and support has been essential.

Learning

I’m not a victim of circumstance. I am embattled, but I don’t feel bad for myself. I’m in my leadership position for such a time as this. I’m learning as much from this as I can. I’m trying to take it one day at a time. God is good.

Your turn

Yes, this story is a bit vague, but I trust that many of my readers deal with sensitive issues, especially when intense opposition is involved. My motivation in sharing this is to be an encouragement to all of you. Leading is sometimes fun, usually difficult, and occasionally downright awful. But we must fulfill our duty. That’s what leaders do.

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