As leaders, we have a lot of expectations on us. We need to be clear communicators, skilled team builders, good at finances, and inspiring speakers. That’s a lot of expectations. For those that are new at leadership, it’s impossible to become excellent in all of these areas overnight.

Developing leadership skills isn’t just about learning and practice. I’ve come to believe that there is a fundamental skill that precedes all of the higher-level skills. If you have this one skill, you are more likely to develop the other necessary skills. If you don’t have it, your growth potential is extremely limited. What is this one fundamental skill? Taking correction. That’s it. I’ll use the rest of this article to explain what it is and why it’s so important.

Taking correction is a skill. It’s hard to do. Naturally, we aren’t born knowing how to do it. Most associate this skill with humility. They are related, but I’ll differentiate the terms slightly. Humility is a character trait. Humility is an underlying belief that we are flawed, imperfect people. That belief enables us to navigate the world with a little more grace than we otherwise would. Honestly, I don’t think I can teach humility. Life circumstances and the Almighty can, but I’m not going to attempt it in this blog article.

I used the term “taking correction” not “taking feedback.” Feedback is a non-specific term. Feedback can be good, bad, neutral, or irrelevant. I wrote an article about interpreting feedback and acting on it. I highly recommend you read it. Correction, on the other hand, isn’t ambiguous at all. Correction means one thing: you messed up.

The mind game with correction

I’ve done a significant amount of introspection and self-reflection on this topic. Understanding myself was key to developing this skill. When someone corrects me, I’ve realized that I automatically shift into a competitive mental model. Before, I was simply going about my business, then correction happens, and it’s “game on.” This is my brain playing tricks on me. Many refer to this instinct as “fight or flight.” It’s not helpful and must be overcome.

This immediately redefines the interaction as binary. It’s win or lose, good vs. evil, red team vs. blue team. I am the good guy, and whoever is correcting me is my enemy. That leaves me with a few options, all of which are bad:

1. Defend. This is my go-to. I’ll try to talk myself out of the correction. I’ll explain the situation from my point of view and justify my actions.
2. Deflect. This is excuse-making. The correction isn’t about my behavior, it’s about some external circumstance or 3^rd party.
3. Counterattack. This isn’t really my style, but I could always try to out-wit or discredit the person bringing the correction.
4. Cower. Admit defeat and go home a sore loser. I’ve done this, but only when I let my emotions get the best of me.

These are all terrible choices. The first step in building this skill is to recognize the situation, and immediately reject these four options. Take a deep breath or count to 10 if you need to. Give yourself time and space to make the right choice.

How to take correction:

Remember, this is a skill. It doesn’t come naturally. We are hard-wired to screw this up and it takes a lot of focus to get it right. Here are steps to successfully take correction:

1. Empathize. After you reject the automatic response, it’s important to empathize with the one bringing the correction. This is a critical first step. You must acknowledge that absolutely no one wants to correct you. I don’t care how easy you are to talk to, or how accessible you think you are. It’s 1000x easier for them to say nothing. It took a lot of courage for them to bring this up. They were willing to bet that you weren’t going to pull one of the first four crazy responses. Reward their courage with a little empathy.
2. Listen and Learn. Hear them out. Ask clarifying questions if you need to. Ask those questions without a hint of defense, deflection, counterattack, or cowering. Become a student of the one bringing correction and make sure you understand absolutely everything.
3. Apologize. Take responsibility for your behaviors and apologize for the negative impact you made. Don’t be too premature with this. Make sure you listen and understand first, otherwise, it will come off as disingenuous.
4. Remediate. Identify next steps to correct the situation and follow through on your commitment.
5. Appreciate. Thank the one who gave you the correction. It wasn’t easy for them. They took a risk and gave you a gift that could have blown up in their face. Thank them for their courage and investment in your success.

A virtuous cycle

If you skillfully navigate a successful correction, a few things will happen. First, and most obviously, you will resolve an important issue that needed to be addressed. Second, you strengthen your relationship with the one who initiated the correction. You’ve established a bond of trust that is incredibly valuable. Third, you set yourself up for future correction, which is a good thing.

If you react badly during a correction it could have the effect of your never getting corrected again. You may be interpreted as unapproachable, unteachable, and have very limited potential for growth. On the other hand, having a reputation that you accept correction well will bring many people to help you succeed in the future. That’s why this fundamental skill is so critically important. Get this right, and everything else comes along.

Everyone loves a humble leader, but humility alone won’t get the job done. Taking correction is a leadership skill that takes intention and practice. Intercept your urge for an automatic response and employ this skill. Have you messed this up? Yeah, so have I. Let’s do better next time. I’m always better off when I get this right.

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