Most people in leadership positions go through some sort of 360 feedback review from time to time. I’ve gone through this at several companies, and always learn something through the process.

I’ve made the argument before on this blog that self-awareness is an absolutely critical attribute of every successful leader, so naturally, the more feedback we get, the better, right?

I recently read a book that’s pretty popular right now: Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World by Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall. The main purpose of the book is to openly challenge nine different widely adopted best practices from most major corporations. All nine are fascinating, but I’m only going to focus on a few in this article.

Lie #5: People need feedback

Through scientific study, the authors concluded that to maximize performance, people don’t actually need feedback. What they do need is attention. Yes, feedback is a form of attention, but it isn’t always the best form of attention. Negative feedback can do more damage than good.

Lie #6: People can reliably rate other people

Research shows that everyone has rating patterns, and no one can objectively rate someone else’s performance. People can rate their own experience, but that’s pretty much it.

What do we do now?

First of all, I’m not advocating that we immediately stop all forms of feedback. I don’t think that’s helpful or realistic. I think that this new knowledge can be incorporated into how we interpret, receive, and action feedback. In light of this understanding, this is what I recommend:

In my view, there are three different kinds of feedback:

1. Positive:

I love getting positive feedback. However, it isn’t always actionable. If you hear that you are doing something awesome, then there isn’t any change or growth needed. Just keep on being awesome. Some might think that since there isn’t action associated with this, then perhaps the feedback isn’t necessary.

I think it is, but I wouldn’t technically look at it as feedback. Instead, I’d think of it as recognition. I love recognition. I love receiving it and I love giving it. It’s a huge shot in the arm when I hear about how the work I do impacts someone else in a positive way. It totally makes my day.

Just like you, I take a beating through the normal course of business. Positive feedback and recognition puts me back on top.

2. Negative (self-awareness)

When I write “negative” you know what I mean. I could write “constructive” or “opportunity” or something like that, but it’s the stuff we do that’s bad and needs to change.

While it’s painful to hear, I appreciate it. I need it. Just like all of you, I still have self-awareness blind spots, and I can only address them if I know about them. Remembering Lie #6 is important here. Just because someone gives you feedback, it doesn’t mean it’s true. What it conveys is how someone else experienced you.

That’s good to know. Who we are is lived out in the experiences of others. As a leader, you should know what’s working and what isn’t. Often times, I find these are correctable behaviors that I can work on to be more effective as a leader. I’ve done a lot of work in this area, but I have plenty more to do.

3. Negative (change who you are)

Mixed in with the negative feedback that’s actionable, I also get a lot of feedback from people indicating that they’d like me to be more like them.

We need to pause here and develop this concept a bit. Here it goes:

The best high-performing teams are diverse teams. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. No one person is the whole package. Only as a team, can you deliver a fantastic result.

Lie #4 in the book is “the best people are well-rounded.” I agree, it’s hogwash. The best people are awesome at a few things and mediocre at everything else. However, when we give each other feedback, we often focus on what the other person is lacking. If that happens to be something we are awesome at, then it seems totally relevant for us to give that person the gift of feedback so they can learn from our awesomeness.

You may be tempted to say to someone, “I think you are awesome at this one thing. If you’d also be awesome at the thing I’m awesome at, then you’d be complete.”

Just like Tyler Durden, I say, “never be complete!” Work as a team to achieve completeness or well-roundedness. I try really hard to develop my team members’ strengths and not beat them over the head with their weaknesses. I really appreciate it when I’m treated the same way.

If someone gives you “constructive” feedback that is telling you to change who you are… stop.

There is one silver lining that can be gleaned from this type of feedback. Even if it isn’t actionable, I still find it helpful to know what people expect out of me. That way, I redirect that expectation to someone better equipped to satisfy it. If I don’t know, then I can’t do that.

I can’t be all things to all people myself, but if I have a well-rounded team, then I should be able to find someone that can.

Feedback at work is here to stay. The Nine Lies book won’t abolish it, but hopefully this learning will help you make better use of it.

If I’ve piqued your interest in this subject, do yourself a favor and read the Nine Lies about Work. It’s fascinating and challenging in many ways.

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