My all-time favorite leadership film is Jerry Maguire. Many of you may find this a bit surprising and would think I would name Star Trek, Star Wars, The Matrix, or Aliens. All of those are near the top of my list, but there is something about the story of Jerry Maguire that I find so incredibly relatable, especially from a leadership perspective.

Jerry Maguire is a sports agent, which he describes as a behind-the-scenes job. “You know those photos where the new player holds up the team jersey and poses with the owner? That’s me on the left.”

I can relate. In IT Infrastructure, we are invisible when things go well and we stick out when there are problems. Just like Jerry Maguire, being invisible is sometimes a good thing.

Jerry is in the prime of his career. His lifestyle is full of hustle. He out-works, out-earns, and out-achieves his peers. Unfortunately, all of his success has caused him to sacrifice his values. Not all at once, and not in big ways, but the small compromises of his character were slowly eroding his soul. “Who had I become? Just another shark in a suit? I couldn’t escape one simple thought: I hated myself. No, no, no, here’s what it was: I hated my place in the world.”

This sort of thing looks different for different people. Fortunately, I’ve never been put in a situation where I had to directly violate my ethics to do my job, but I have had to do things and support initiatives that I didn’t believe in. I’ve had to suck it up and toe the company line despite my better judgment. I’m realistic, and I can handle a certain amount of it without changing who I am. But just like with Jerry, it’s not a single event, but there is a snowball effect that takes place when your work life becomes filled with too much that is incompatible with your character.

That’s a fork in the road. You have two choices: become cynical or become vulnerable. I’ve had a taste of becoming cynical and I didn’t like it. I’m an optimist, and I love being an optimist. I love being hopeful. Cynicism changed me and dimmed the light. I decided I can’t stop caring and just coast. I bring my whole heart to work. To stay true, there is only really one choice: become vulnerable.

Jerry Maguire had a breakdown/breakthrough when he wrote his “mission statement.” Everyone called it a memo, which bugged Jerry. It was really more like a manifesto.

“I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and I’m not even a writer. I’ll be the first to admit, what I was writing was somewhat touchy-feely. I didn’t care. I have lost the ability to BS. It was the me I’d always wanted to be. I took it in a bag to a Copymat in the middle of the night and printed up 110 copies. Even the cover looked like The Catcher in the Rye. I entitled it ‘The Things We Think and Do Not Say: The Future of Our Business.’…Everybody got a copy…I was 35. I had started my life.”

The next morning, Jerry woke up in a panic with immediate regret that he shared his deep feelings, but to his relief, his co-workers cheered him to his face (and mocked him behind his back). Eventually, his vulnerability gets him fired. When that happens, all of his friends, co-workers, and clients turn on him, and he learns that the investments he made in those relationships were all a waste.

His adversary, Bob Sugar put it like this: “This isn’t show-friends, it’s show-business.” His fiancé, Avery said, “There’s no real loyalty, and the first person that told me that was you.” Jerry experienced intense fallout for his vulnerability and trust. I can only surmise that this is because Jerry had been inauthentic for quite some time. His life was a house of cards.

When it got tough, the whole thing came down. He hit bottom and had two people that were loyal to him: his assistant, Dorothy Boyd, and his one client, Rod Tidwell. He didn’t know either of them well at the time, but soon they became his entire life. The funny thing is when he wrote his mission statement he said “I was 35. I had started my life.” But it wasn’t until his old life was taken away from him that he truly began to start over and live it.

As a leader, Jerry had two very different people to lead: Dorothy Boyd and Rod Tidwell.

Dorothy Boyd Needed to be Inspired

Jerry had very little in the form of traditional means to motivate Dorothy. Even though he tried, in reality, he couldn’t offer her any job security or benefits. Jerry inspired Dorothy. That was enough to make her leave a job that had plenty of security and follow a leader that offered none. What inspired Dorothy was Jerry’s authenticity and vulnerability. She was starving for it. She said,

“How about a little piece of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don’t know what to tell my son, except here, have a look at a guy who isn’t yelling ‘Show me the money.’ He is broke and working for you for free!”

Jerry’s mission statement inspired Dorothy to join Jerry, but it was Jerry’s loyalty to Rod and commitment to integrity that inspired her to stay. Later on in the film, after Jerry and Dorothy got married, their relationship grew cold. What brought it back to life was a healthy shot of inspiration and commitment, during the famous “you had me at hello” scene.

Early in the film when Dorothy first read Jerry’s mission statement, she said “I was inspired, and I’m an accountant.” That’s an important learning for IT leaders. We assume that engineers and developers are rational, stoic people that don’t need inspiration. That’s something for the marketing department, right? If Dorothy, the accountant, needs inspiration, then so do the IT professionals we lead. A leader’s strong investment in inspiring their team with honest authentic vulnerability opens the door for new levels of commitment and motivation on the job.

Rod Tidwell Needed to be Humbled

Rod was a loud-mouthed egotistical athlete who walked around with a chip on his shoulder, blaming everyone but himself for why he wasn’t making the big dollars. Jerry wanted to break through to Rod, but every attempt failed. My favorite scene of the entire movie is this one:

“I’m out here for you! You don’t know what it’s like to be me out here for you. It is an up-at-dawn pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about! Okay?! Help me help you. Help me help you!”

Later on in the movie, they have a similar interaction, but this time Jerry is more confrontational:

“I’ll tell you why you don’t have your ten million dollars. Because right now, you are a paycheck player, you play with your head and not your heart, your personal life is all heart but when you get on the field, it’s all about what you didn’t get, who’s to blame, who under threw the pass, who’s got the contracts you don’t, who’s not giving you your love. That’s not what inspires people.”

Sometimes as leaders in IT, we need to deal with our Rod Tidwells. Sr. Engineers and Rockstar Developers really think they are hot stuff, and often lack people skills as an added bonus. It’s the leader’s job to be the reality check and hold up a mirror. It’s up to us to be a loyal and consistent voice of truth.

Ego will hold back our star players from doing their best and will hold back a team from achieving its mission. Jerry had the right mix. He was both loyal and honest. He had Rod’s best interest in mind. Truth without trust goes nowhere. Jerry put in the time to develop the relationship with Rod and was patient through his slow transformation.

That’s my analysis. I hope you found it fun and interesting. It’s Friday. Why not queue up Jerry Maguire tonight and reflect on how this great film should shape your leadership style? Interested in exploring more about leadership and vulnerability? I’ve learned a lot from Brené Brown. Check out her famous TED Talk here.